Whole Minds Stories : Lorraine's Story
From Fear and Anxiety to Faith and Freedom
Nothing could cure me from fear and anxiety, I was totally imprisoned, until recently…
not a happy start
I was separated from my mother as a small infant and bought up in the “care system”. I learnt from very early on in life to fear everything and not to trust anybody. As far back as I can remember, fear and anxiety dominated my life; mental abuse, physical violence and sexual abuse sustained over several years, left me severely traumatised. Mine was a loveless childhood.
I spent many many years in psychotherapy, and other alternative therapies, seeking help to dismantle some of the coping strategies that I’d developed as a child. Therapy enabled me to stop numbing out and reconnect emotionally and to be able to identify when I was having panic attacks, as a result of PTSD.
However nothing cured me from the fear and anxiety imprisoning me, until seven years ago.
Divine intervention?
Long before I had decided to intentionally open my heart up to Jesus, God was already creating and mapping out pathways to forgiveness & restoration, building bridges for reconciliation between my fragmented family members.
March 2015
This was the starting point to my incredible story and journey to faith.
I was wondering how I could honour the 10th anniversary of my beloved son Justyn’s passing. I still had his ashes at home with me. By what seemed miraculous to me, Patrick, Justyn’s father had found us on Facebook and made contact with me. It had been 34 years since I’d fled from him, heavily pregnant and with 2 small children. Together we chose a resting place where Justyn’s ashes were to be interned, but not long after Patrick died, very suddenly.
The reconciliation with Patrick led me to seek my younger siblings who I hadn’t seen for over thirty years. Everything that has transpired since then, has Gods seal on it. The timing of it all has been precise and perfect.
I was introduced to Woodlands church by my daughter Ashlee, who was already on her own spiritual path to Jesus.
After initially hesitating & struggling with opening up to faith in God, I began to explore Christian faith, eventually committing myself to Jesus. I too was baptised in November 2019, and since then my faith continues to strengthen and deepen'; incredible things have been happening in my life.
Just 18 months ago after a lifetime of being separated I was reunited with my elderly mother who was living in a care home in London during the onset of the pandemic. My mother had a lifelong history of severe mental illness, Schizoaffective Disorder, when she was unwell it was impossible to be around her, I was very afraid of her.
Time for healing
By daily prayer with the help, grace and strength of our Lord, and the love and power of the Holy Spirit, I have overcome fear on so many fronts. I was able to be with my mum everyday in the final months of her life, it was a time of tremendous healing and was mutually loving.
A heart transplant
Knowing and believing that the Holy Spirit dwells in me, I feel safe inside, for the very first time in my entire life! I know that I’m never alone for He is always with me. My heart is now peaceful and full of hope.
It’s as if I’ve had a heart transplant, like I’ve been given a new heart. In truth I’m living proof of God working in me, transforming me from the inside out. I’ve had a transfusion from fear to faith, which has set me free.
I fully understand what it means to be “born again” and “saved”. This is my life verse —
She is clothed with strength and dignity and she laughs without fear of the future. Proverbs 31. 25
Praise the Lord our Holy God and Mighty Saviour for He is Love!
“ No matter how damaged or deprived we may have been, love’s power to heal and redeem is always available. We can renew our spirit and choose to listen to the voice of hope. Love is our destiny.”
Maya Angelou.
Contributor: Lorraine Chambers