Identity, authenticity and lessons from Hannah Montana
Tibz’s story
It was my favourite show as a kid.
Well - maybe it tied in first place with ‘The Magic Schoolbus’. But Hannah Montana captured my young, tween heart in a way no other idea could. I mean, come on! A show about being a normal high-schooler by day but an elusive superstar by night? To know deep down that your life secretly had more influence than anyone else would ever know? The chance to tap into the ‘Best of Both Worlds’, the shine of fame with the ease of anonymity, all without the consequences? Of course I’m in!
I loved that Disney series. I loved the premise of getting to live out your dream whilst remaining grounded in the everyday. After witnessing so many of my childhood idols fall prey to the pressure and exposure that stardom brings, having two personas – one to turn to when the other became too much to bear – seemed genius! So from a young age I began identifying what behaviours garnered social success, then strove to play those parts to a ’T’.
The Apple Polisher
I became the ‘apple polisher’ for my teachers, the class clown for my peers, the snack-provider for my friends, the chair-stacker for my church youth group, the (mostly!) obedient daughter for my parents.
And of course, every role was played with a little bit of Tibish “flair”, because who doesn’t love a show??
Soon I was switching masks with such fluidity that I really thought I had the best of every world! I was your Class A Performer-type, not just on the school talent show stages, but in all areas of my social world. I made it my chief aim to entertain my peers and make the grown-ups proud. I enjoyed every perk my performances brought (good grades, admiration, pocket money, the list went on) - and truly believed I had no enemies in life.
By my late teens I was consumed by an incessant need to be liked. It was people-pleasing to the extreme; I craved validation over authenticity, achievement over character, and I didn’t really care if I found it in all the wrong places - in competition, in academics, in looks and even in relationships. Because if I could just beat out everyone else, be smarter, more attractive, or simply hear a man tell me he loved me, then surely I would be complete, right?
Eventually, all I found was anger instead of wholeness. I became furious at the world for having such a limited definition of success, furious at my teachers and peers for making me so dependent on their feedback. I was furious at my parents for pushing me to achieve with such high expectations, and I was most of all furious at myself for playing along with it. My life felt so scripted, so decided by the powers that be, and I hated that. I was a performer in a play I didn’t want a part in, and I felt like I only had myself to blame. Didn’t I love the limelight? Wasn’t this the admiration I wanted? And so on my own, private civil war raged.
Wearing masks
In wearing so many masks, the enemy became my own mind.
I put myself under such pressure to perform, until one day I couldn’t.
Shortly after I turned 18, I failed to get the grades I needed to attend the top universities that had accepted me. Almost immediately afterwards I moved out from my parent’s house, stopped attending church and shut myself away from my friends. I indulged in my anger, my vices, and my self-loathing. For almost a year, I felt like a total failure.
Then, shortly after I turned 19, I had an encounter with the Holy Spirit. By that I mean, in a moment of feeling intense grief and failure, an undeniable presence came upon me that filled me with an immense peace and strength – completely un-self-generated and entirely life-changing. Here, finally, was the love and validation I had been looking for! And it came at the lowest, ugliest, least-performative moment of my life thus far. How?? All I knew that day was I wanted to spend the rest of my life knowing such love – a love that would ‘delight in me with gladness, calm my every fear, and rejoice over me with joyful songs’ (Zephaniah 3:17, paraphrased).
A journey of discovery
Since that day, I’ve seen my identity as on ongoing journey of discovery in God – and I’ve learned a couple of things about its importance along the way:
An identity that requires the ‘likes’ and admiration of people is no identity at all, for it will always be dependent on the ever-shifting tides of social fashion. The writer of Proverbs knew what he was talking about when he said, ‘Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe’ (Proverbs 29:25 NIV).
A God-given, Scripture-confirmed identity is something else entirely. A God-given identity says you are Enough. It says that your very existence, exactly as you are, warts and all, warrants a love and worth that no-one - no enemy, no family member, not even yourself - can take away from you. A God-given identity calls you Chosen, bought at a price, destined for joy and goodness, because that's what God destines for all who seek Him. A God-given identity is an infallible, resounding whisper – you are the child of a King. The cherished heir of a good, good Father. Considered priceless by the only one who's opinion of you truly matters.
See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!
1 John 3:1 NIV
A God-given identity is confirmation that the true you, the one and only real, authentic you, is all you've ever needed to be. Friend - this changes everything.
Discovering Freedom
These days I find comfort in the moments when I forget to ponder, ‘Which me must I be today?’, but instead just bring the only me, ever evolving but still singular, still whole, to my every encounter. If we meet today, know that I’m aiming to be the same me that you would meet at my workplace, at church, on the street and even in the privacy of my bedroom. God is slowly revealing to me how I am made in His image, and I’m seeking to look more like Him every day. And in this ongoing process, I’m discovering that there is real freedom to be found in having God be centre stage, and not me with all my flaws and masks and personas (or wigs and outfit-swaps, in Hannah Montana’s case!).
My hope for all of us that struggle with our identity is that we might seek to be transformed by the renewing of our minds with God’s word (Romans 12:2), in a way that somehow, paradoxically, returns us to our true selves. I pray we might increasingly understand that authenticity is a calling placed on each and every one of us by God, not to limit us, but to bring us peace, to heal us and to bind us to Himself. For as we grow in our love for Him and He reveals more and more of His love for us, this strengthening relationship starts to shine out like a city on a hill, drawing others to His light, and attesting to His treasures. Not ours.
3 Identity scriptures to meditate on.
Why not write these out and carry them with you this week, allow God’s word to change you from inside out?
Light
“You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven."
Matthew 5:14-16 NIV
Chosen
But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvellous light.
1 Peter 2:9 ESV
Treasured
For God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness,” made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of God’s glory displayed in the face of Christ. But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us.
2 Corinthians 4:6-7 NIV
Disclaimer: No, I do not inherently attribute my identity issues growing up to watching Hannah Montana. I still love that show and hope Miley Cyrus is doing okay these days. Anyone know if she’s drinking enough water?
Contributor : Tibz Adeniyi